Darth Vader Phones Home

Ring….ring…ring

Luke: Yeah, who is it?
Darth Vader: [heavy breathing] It’s your father, Luke
Luke: Yeah, what now?
Darth Vader: Make sure you put the bins out before you leave the house.
Luke: Do it yourself..Dad?
Darth Vader: Don’t take that tone with me boy. You put those damn bins out!
Luke: Yeah? Or what you shiny-headed freak?
Darth Vader: Or I’ll chop your friggin’ hand off, you Rebel-loving punk
Luke: Later loser.
Darth Vader: Don’t you hang u…...[dial-tone] ARRGH – Get me my ship.

If you need a little bit of Darth in your life, you can opt for the official Darth Vader Phone. For £20, you get the Imperial March when an incoming call arrives along with a little head-turning action. There are three sound effects in all: Imperial March, saber swing, and the iconic, 80-a-day heavy breathing. Hardly new, I know, but then again, Star Wars will never, ever, ever go away.